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Abbot & Costello And Windows...


Costello: "Hey Abbot!!!"

Abbot: "Yes, Lou?"

Costello: "I just got my first computer."

Abbot: "That's great Lou. What did you get?"

Costello: "A Pentium III-500, 256 Megs of Ram, 12 Gig hard Drive, and DVD!"

Abbot: "That's terrific, Lou."

Costello: "But I don't know what any of it means!"

Abbot: "You will in time."

Costello: "That's exactly why I am here to see you."

Abbot: "Oh?'

Costello: "I heard that you are a real computer wiz."

Abbot: "Well, I don't know..."

Costello: "Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train

Abbot: "Really?"

Costello: "Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson."

Abbott: "O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?"

Costello: "I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you  should be very careful how you turn it off."
 Abbot: "That's true."
 Costello: "So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?"

Abbot: "Well, first you press the Start Button, and then..."

Costello: "No, I told you, I want to turn it off."

Abbot: "I know, you press the Start button.."

Costello: "Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do."
 Abbot: "I did."
 Costello: "When?"
 Abbot: "When I told you to press the Start button."
 Costello: "Why should I press the Start button?"
 Abbot: "To shut off the computer."
 Costello: "I press Start to Stop?"
 Abbot: "Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer."
 Costello: "I knew it! So what do I press?"
 Abbot: "Start."
 Costello: "Start what?"
 Abbot: "Start button."
 Costello: "Start button to do what?"
 Abbot: "Shut down."
 Costello: "You don't have to get rude!"
 Abbot: "No, no, no! That's not what I meant."
 Costello: "Then say what you mean."
 Abbot: "To shut down the computer, press.."
 Costello: "Don't say, "'Start!'"
 Abbot: "Then what do you want me to say?"
 Costello: "Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing topress the Stop button, the End button, Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses Start to Stop!"
 Abbot: "But that's what you do."
 Costello: "And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights."

Abbot: "Don't be ridiculous."

Costello: "I'm being ridiculous? Well, I think it's about time we 'started' this conversation."

Abbot: "What are you talking about?"

Costello: "I am 'starting' this conversation right now.