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Adults Say the Darndest Things 2...

Mike's Funnies

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
 Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.

-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued. Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.

-- Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid.
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.

-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly

-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.
The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector.

-- Knight-Ridder News Service dispatch.
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.

-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island