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Adults say the darndest things...

Mike's Funnies

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to payhis taxes.
They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.

-- Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank scandal.
It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.

-- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job.
 I didn't accept it. I received it.

-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.
I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flyingmade what I was doing spying.

-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, inan interview after he was returned to the US.
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.

-- President Richard Nixon
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.