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Windows 98 - Southern Edition

Source:
Bullmoose (grc.ten-forward)

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on Stars and Bars. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screensaver.

Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol'Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol plastic disc thangs"
(Please note that good ol' boys, ain't got no truck with anything on 'em, floppy). Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape"pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
OK . . . .. . . . . .atsaw-right
Cancel . . . . . . . .stopdat
Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin
Yes . . . . . . . .. yep
No . . . . . . . . . .noop
Find . . . . . . . . .hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . . . . .over yonder
Back . . . . . . . . .back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . .hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . .kwitit
Start . . . . . . . . crank er up
Settings . . . . . . .settins
Programs . . . . . . .stuff at duz stuff
Documents . .. . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
Tiperiter . . . . .. . A word processing program
Colerin book . . . . . . .a graphics program
Cyferin mersheen . . . . .calculator
Outhouse paper . . . . . .notepad
Inner-net. . . . . . . . . Internet
Microsoft Explorer 4.0 Pichers. . A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!

Billy Bob Gates
Head Honcho